Why is weight loss so hard?

I’m going to just put it out there… I’m fat. Actually, I’m clinically obese. It’s so hard to actually put this in writing but at 5’2″… right now… I weigh 260 pounds.

I’ve struggled with my weight for over 20 years. Growing up I was never really considered “skinny”, but the majority of my weight gain started in my mid-20s. This is when I moved in with my boyfriend (now husband), quit smoking (which I’m super proud of), and gained all the wonderful independence and stresses that come along with “adulting”. Then, two amazing children came into our lives, and the “baby weight” that I gained also remained. Stresses throughout the years, busy schedules, lack of self-care, anxiety and depression have all contributed to where I am today. Obese.

I’ve tried lots of “diets”. Some have worked a bit… some have not. I’ve joined gyms, taken Zumba and Kettlebell classes. I’ve tried diet pills, supplements, cleanses and intermittent fasting. Why is this so hard?

I know I’m not alone in this struggle. Research tells us that over 70% of American adults are overweight. 70%!! So, when we watch television shows that “prove” to us that having trainers yell at you while you’re crying on a treadmill, and then you get to eat some grilled chicken and lettuce in a gluten-free, low carb wrap… why aren’t we all dropping 20 pounds a week and keeping the weight off? Because that’s not real life. That’s not sustainable. And frankly, who the hell wants that?

It seems that when it comes to diet and exercise, one “size” does not fit all. I read a great article that literally proves that there is no perfect diet, and that although exercise is super important to improve your overall health, it’s not the key to weight loss. So all the trial and error is actually a good thing, but the most important thing to figure out is … how did we get here (being overweight, that is) and what do we need to change in our lives to move to a better, healthier, and happier life?

It seems that sustainable weight loss has to be motivated by something other than wanting to be “skinny”. For me, weight loss has to start with my mental health. So many of us deal with stress and the crazy demands of family and work… and we put ourselves and our health on the bottom of our “to do” list.

Here are some things that I am doing to make this mental health shift. This may not work for everyone (see my “one size does not fit all” disclaimer above) but hopefully something here may work for you:

Reducing Stress This is definitely not as easy as it sounds. Personally, I struggle with stress and anxiety on a hourly basis. Right now, I am without a job and I have stress around ensuring our never-ending bills get paid. But stress seems to just make it all seem worse, and it doesn’t help… only action does. I see a therapist on the regular, because I need that sounding board to get things off my chest and work through the anxiety. I have also incorporated mediation into my daily life. If you’ve never tried meditation or don’t know where to start, here’s a great beginning:

1. Set a timer on your phone for 5 minutes (this is a great beginning and you can increase the time as you work on your practice).
2. Sit comfortably in a chair or on the floor, or even lie down.
3. Close your eyes.
4. Breathe naturally. Focus all of your attention on your breath and how your body moves with each inhalation and exhalation. Do not try to control its pace or intensity. If your mind wanders, return your focus back to your breath.

Guided meditations are also wonderful. You can find many of them on YouTube, or there are apps such as Headspace that you can download. I love a few of the guided meditations that are on Beachbody On Demand.

Getting Enough Sleep With all of the demands on us today, it seems so easy to slack in this department. I’m totally guilty of skimping on my sleep to do a couple more loads of laundry or binge watch those missed episodes of Game of Thrones (side note… can’t wait for Season 7!) but those missed hours of sleep are really causing a determent to our bodies and our overall well being (check out this article on how much this really does effect our health and overall ability to lose weight). I tend to be a night owl and hate getting up early, but I find if I get up when I “have” to, I don’t set my day off on the right track. The goal for myself will be to get a full 8 hours of sleep every night, and get up earlier to have some self-care time to meditate and exercise (yoga is my go-to. I’ll definitely be telling you all more about my love/hate relationship with yoga). I’m using the Bedtime feature on my iPhone as my reminder to go to bed… and alarm to wake up.

Move Your Body So, above I stated that exercise isn’t always magic solution to weight loss, and we definitely do not need boot camp trainers making us cry while we “drop and give them 20” (friends… that’s the total opposite to improving your mental health!) but there is substantial proof that exercise does help improve our overall mental health. I personally hate exercise and will find any excuse to get out of it. I’ve have some wonderful ladies who attempt to hold me accountable via social media support groups, but only I can make that mental shift to hold myself accountable and know that moving my body on a daily basis is key to my all-around personal improvement. I have committed to myself to schedule in a minimum of 30 minutes of some type of exercise each day. For you it may be hitting the gym or water aerobics (yes, people… that’s still a thing) or even walking at the mall. I find yoga to be my go-to form of exercise. I tend to practice at home but love the vibe of a studio. This also allows me to challenge myself and improve on my poses… because believe me, I am no expert yogi… yet.

I hope some of these suggestions help you to take steps towards the overall goal of a happier and healthier life. Leave some comments below on your thoughts or other suggestions of what you are doing to accomplish this goal.

Here I go again…

I actually started this blog many, many years ago… back when blogging was a new “thing”. I always thought it would be wonderful to be a writer and gain an audience, and this new “trend” seemed like a great way to start. Let me tell you… I was AWFUL at it! My posts had no purpose and were pretty much just a repeat of my lackadaisical Facebook posts with a few “funny” stories thrown into the mix. To top it off, consistency was not my strong suit either. I am pretty sure there were more than a couple of “two years later…” or “wow, it’s been three years!” posts out there, in which I vowed to give this poor old blog some well needed CPR. Yeah, that didn’t happen… until now.

I’ve decided to revive this blog (in name only… I’m starting new with all the things) and give it purpose. I’ve personally changed quite a bit over the years and hoping to use this platform to keep changing for the better, and maybe, just maybe, help others too.

My dream for this blog is to bring my readers along on my personal journey of health and happiness, while having some fun along the way (that’s where the wine comes in!) I continue to struggle with weight loss and exercise. I struggle with stress and anxiety, while trying to keep it all together. My dream for myself is to live a happy, healthy, fulfilled, wonderful life. My best life ever… and I want others to do the same.

So, if you’re reading this… and you want to join me on this journey, I welcome you with open arms and a big glass of rosé.