1. find Christmas lights and lighted garland
2. spend 45 minutes untangling said lights and lighted garland
3. drive to store to buy more Christmas lights
4. put up lights on shrubs / trees
5. drive to store to buy more extension cords
6. put lighted garland up on porch railing
7. drive to store to buy more lighted garland
8. re-string lighted garland on railing, only to find another string that does not work
9. swear excessively… unplug everything… make myself a drink
Happy (insert swear words here) Holidays!
For many years, hubs and I worked on opposite shifts. It worked out great… we never had to put either of our kids in day care, and I was always able to enjoy my evenings watching pretty much any sappy chick-flick or obnoxious teen drama that I wanted (this was also during the dawn of the Reality TV era, so I can safely say that I kept myself quite entertained). But a few years ago, hubs changed shifts and is now home most evenings. This also works out well… the kids and I get to spend more time with him, BUT … hubs and I have very different interests when it comes to television viewing, especially during this time of the year. (Yes, I’ll say it… sports)
Baseball, college football, professional football, hockey, golf, boxing… the list goes on and on. I honestly don’t mind watching sports, but there are many evenings when I’d rather sit with a glass of Zin and catch up on Millionaire Matchmaker.
Tonight I decided to suck it up and watch some sports with my hubby… here’s how the evening went:
Hubs: *turns on a college football game*
Me: Why is the grass on that field two different colors? It’s really distracting.
Hubs: It’s turf, not grass.
Me: Whatever… it’s ugly. And that one football team has green uniforms. It’s just too much green.
Hubs: *changes channel and turns on baseball game*
Me: What inning is this?
Hubs: Top of the 5th.
Me: It’s not even like half over! Why would they play this game so late at night on a Thursday? Don’t they know people have to go to work in the morning? That’s just stupid. I’d be really mad if this goes into overtime or something.
Hubs: *turns college football game back on*
Me: What is that mascot? A chicken??
Hubs: A duck.
Me: A duck?? That’s a kinda dumb mascot. (I then notice that the opposing is called the Golden Bears)
Me: Ha! The Ducks against the Golden Bears! Sounds more like a children’s book than a real football game!
Hubs: Don’t you have to catch up on some past episodes of Gossip Girl or something?
Ladies… that’s how you do it.
Let me begin by saying… no, I am not pregnant.
The kids and I have been wanting another dog for quite some time now. Hubs, on the other hand, has been totally against the idea. His reasoning was not that we didn’t have enough room, or that the cost of another dog (food, vet bills, toys, etc..) is an expense we didn’t need to take on. The primary reason he didn’t want to get another dog was because… he didn’t want to clean up more dog poop from the backyard.
Well, who could blame him?
Anyway, about a week ago, hubs came home from work… with a dog.
Apparently he saw the pup walking down the middle of a busy road, and being the good Samaritan that he is, he coaxed the dog into his car (using his leftover lunch). After taking the dog to the local animal shelter to have him checked out and leave our contact info (in case he had an owner who came looking for him), hubs brought the little guy home to us.
And the little guy had fleas…
That aside, it appears that little Melvin is making himself at home, and our Mulligan seems to like having a little brother. I am now working on some ground rules with our newest family member:
1) Do not pee or poop in the house
2) Do not chew up Mommy’s shoes
3) Do not jump up on the dining room table
4) Do not steal food off of anyone’s plate
and the most important…
5) Do not ever knock over Mommy’s wine glass
(New dog is 0 for 5)
I often like to share my musical interests with others, so what better way than to post a “Song of the Week” (much easier than a “Song of the Day”, because honestly, I won’t keep up with it).
I love when a crappy (or not so crappy) song is re-done, and sounds way better than the original… here are a couple of my faves (from two very dreamy men). Enjoy!
I needed a break from the mundane that is my office, so today I went out to lunch by myself. After enjoying a reasonable portion of spicy Indian food, I decided to stop into Starbucks to grab a green tea…
As I walked through the doors, a soft, warm glow came over me and the angels from above began singing in chorus. There, standing at the counter, ordering a Venti Iced Mocha, was the most gorgeous man I had ever laid eyes on. His Bradley Cooper-esque looks paired with the faint scent of patchouli (yes, I love the smell of patchouli) put me into such a daze, I almost forgot my order.
(now, I can’t be positive that this handsome specimen was wearing patchouli, or if it was the aroma-combination of all the other hipsters in Starbucks, but let’s just pretend it was the the dreamboat at the counter. Thank you.)
I tried not to be obvious as walked up to the counter… straining to hear his voice as he bantered back and forth with a fellow coffee drinker. We made eye contact… he smiled… gracefully picked up his drink from the counter… spun around, and began to saunter out the door.
Fortunately, the barista made my tea with a feverish haste, as if she knew I needed to see him just once more. I scurried out of the store to catch that last glimpse. As I watched him drive away in his shiny black Chrysler 300, I realized I’d probably never see him again… and I was going to be late for a meeting.
I rushed to my car as I attempted to unlock the door. Nothing. I frantically began pulling on the door handle. Why the hell won’t this car door open?!?
Then, in an instant, an older gentleman was standing next to me… asking why I was trying to break into his car.
I was wrong. I misjudged you solely based on hearsay and the People of Wal-Mart website. Not only were your aisles neat and organized, your Wal-Mart Team Members were helpful and friendly. You were also instrumental in ending my 6-month quest for a specific brand of wine. I will surely be a return guest. And while visiting your store, if I happen to come across a man wearing heals and a thong on the outside of his camo hot pants… I’ll consider it a bonus.